Happy Birthday To Maggie

Today is my niece Maggie's birthday. She would have been three. I remember that day distinctly, but indistinctly at the same time. Jen had been in labor for a little bit, but we were approaching the end, and I knew it. Bethany was freaking out, haha. But I kept reassuring her that the baby was coming, she was going to be fine. But deep down, I was scared too. Something was wrong, and I felt it. But then she came, and I was so happy! She was beautiful! So sweet already. She was finally here, and she was okay. Right?
Not right.....
She wouldn't eat. Mom was acting strange. Suddenly that fear deep inside starting surfacing.
They started getting ready to go to the hospital. Jen was crying. I was trying not to, but that doesn't always work, now does it? I remember that night. Me sitting at the house with the girls, waiting. Waiting to find out what was wrong. Finally Mom called late. It was bad. Trisomy 18, she wouldn't live long.. I remember sitting there crying, thinking about the unfairness of it all. WHY? Why us? Why Jen? They didn't deserve this. No one did... Then I became worried. Worried for Jen and David, the girls, Mom. I wasn't very old when my baby brother Andrew was born a stillborn. But I remember the sadness, then I remember Mom not being there. I became worried still. How would Jen and David hold up? Would they go into that depression? What about their marriage? Not everyone's can handle this sort of thing. So many questions I had. But no answers. I just had to have faith that everything would work out.

Dad called saying he was coming. Did I need anything from home?
Ben. I needed my brother Ben.
I know it's kind of strange, most girls would want their big sister, or a girlfriend. But I'm not most girls I guess....
I was cleaning the house when they got there, Dad, Tiffany and her girls, and Ben. I had been trying to keep it together. Stay strong. But who knew a simple hug could undo all of that? Because that's all he did. He hugged me, and it all came pouring out. The happiness of her coming, the sadness that she wasn't going to stay long, the fear of everything that was happening, everything. I just stood there crying. I felt so stupid, haha. But he didn't care, he just let me cry. That's what I love about my brothers :) They can be mean, and pick on me about killing a turkey :) but when it really comes down to it. They're there for me. All my family is.

I wish I had gotten to see Jen, David and the girls more in those five months that Maggie was on this earth. But I was there when she was born. I got to see her sweet face, and hold and cuddle her. That's enough for me.
Five months can seem like such a long time. "Ugh, I've been with this company for five months, and that's long enough for me!" "My boyfriend and I have be together for a long time! Five months tomorrow!"
But when it's a life. It's just a blink of an eye.
Sometimes I wish life had a remote. That way I could go back and fix things I may have messed up, or go find out what that person REALLY said, haha :) But most of all, I wish I could go back and laugh at the good times, refresh the memories, see the people I miss.. But then, I think about it. If we were constantly going back, we would miss out on what's happening NOW.
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present." We should treasure that present, while remembering and honoring our history.

Jen, David, Mom, Dad, all my family and friends. I love you guys, and though I may seem "grumpy" sometimes, I'll always love and cherish every memory I have with you.
Especially you, Maggie. My sweet angel niece ♥