Holy shit, this is weird.... It's been four years since I last posted, and it's bizarre to think back to that time and why I stopped blogging. Why did I? I don't honestly remember... I guess I just started doing life. Also, I don't think I had a computer, hahaha.

A lot of life has happened.. So much that I'm not even sure where to begin. But I feel like I need to do a post where I look back on the past four years. So I guess I'll try, but bear with me because obviously it's been a while since I wrote and it might take a few posts to make me less weird and awkward about it.

So I guess I'll start with the craziest thing, the thing that sometimes makes we go "wait, what?"
Skyler and I are married. Now obviously you all know this, because you're friends with me on Facebook, or you even attended the wedding, ha! But it's still such an insane development to me. Many of you know that I grew up Mormon, and it's pretty much your life goal to grow up, get married in the temple, have babies, and live happily ever after. But growing up I told myself I was gonna be different(SURPRISE, SURPRISE). I wasn't going to marry young, I wasn't going to marry the first guy I met, I was going to date around, be an independent woman that didn't need no man. Hahahahaha. Thinking of that literally makes me giggle.
But why is it I thought not following in those footsteps would make me superior? Why did I think marrying young was such a bad thing? Why did I think it was better to date a few guys before I chose the one? Why did I think doing those things was so bad and why did I think all those things meant I couldn't be an independent and strong woman?  Naivety, confusion, and bias I would say.
So needless to say, I definitely never expected to marry my second "boyfriend" at 21. Funny how life goes, huh?

Second craziest thing?(actually, I probably swapped that. The CRAZIEST thing) I'm living in New Mexico.
It's kind of a cute and funny story I guess. Skyler and I came out here for a "working honeymoon" see, it was memorial day weekend and every year there is a huge motorcycle rally here, so I came out to help my aunt run her Pure Romance booth, and the guys had Skyler a job at the restaurant they worked at for the weekend. Everything went well, Skyler got offered a full time job, and he planned on staying for the summer to make some money and have a little adventure. It was going to be weird being separated for the summer right after we got married, but I was confident we would be okay, we had done long distance before(funny enough, that was right after I stopped posting here, ha!) Mom and I discussed whether it would be an option for us to move out permanently, but I refused to leave Daniel behind, so I told mom the only way that would happen was if he came with us. So I headed back to Mississippi with my two best friends, and my dad. The super crazy thing that happened on that 18 hour drive?  Daniel decided he wanted to do it. He needed the change just as badly as I did.
So the decision was made.
We moved all our crap out of the house, and was back in New Mexico within a week. Almost a year and a half later, this is our life now. Once again, life is crazy, and I'm continually surprised by it and the paths it leads me down.
Well I guess that's it for today. Hopefully this isn't too scattered and ridiculous, but I tried and as you know it's been quite a while, so it might take a minute for me to get back in the groove.
Get ready to follow along with me as I navigate my way through this crazy thing we call life!!

Moving... Exciting, Yet Scary

So I'm moving away in 5 days... Let me start with where.

Clarksville, TN. That's where I'm moving. My older sister Jen lives up there with her five beautiful and adorable(but annoying at times I'm sure, just ask her haha) children, and her large, and very hairy(love you David ;) husband.

Better(and closer) job opportunities, two beauty schools I can try and go to, awesome people who will feed me well(forgot to post about me going gluten free, but now I am! Yay? Sigh...), sounds really good right? I thought so! So I went ahead and decided I would take them up on their offer to let me live with them so I could move on with my life. YAY ME!

I'm hoping and praying things will turn out fairly well, hopefully I won't crash and burn, right? Ha!

So yeah, I'm moving..

For the past few months I've been having some pretty serious depression issues,(not that anyone noticed, I'm pretty good at hiding it) and decided I needed a serious life change, and SOON. Because I was about to go insane! I just felt so trapped and unhappy sitting at home all day doing nothing really. Sure, I have chores, and the internet(ha), but there is just something missing. I need a job, bad, and there are just better options for me in Clarksville.

I've been sitting here thinking about it, and I'm really happy I'm doing this. While there's a chance of failure, I would rather fail trying, then just sit at home and become a bum, right? Right.

While I know I'm 18, and that's usually about the time children fly the coop. I can't help thinking how crazy it's going to be not living here. In this house. The house I grew up in. The house I was BORN in! I've had a lot of memories here... Some good, and some bad. But those ups, downs, experiences, and memories all make me, me. So I wouldn't trade them for anything. This year has been pretty rough for me. But again, I wouldn't change anything. What if I had had an awesome year, and then just stayed here? Not making a change, not moving on and doing something with my life? What if that is what sent me in the direction I'm supposed to be going? Maybe I would have ended up sitting at home doing nothing for a few more years, and that wouldn't have been good. So I'm glad for all the crap this year, because it pushed me to where I'm not going to sit around waiting for life to come to me, I'm going to go chase after it!

Because I deserve it. I deserve to be happy. To have what I want. To do what I want.

So wish me luck, and I'll try and keep you somewhat updated(ha, yeah right)

Enjoy your fall everyone!!

Worst. Summer. Ever...

I know feelings get hurt, believe me, I know. But why would you lose a good friendship over a harmless opinion? I came to camp, expecting to have the greatest summer of my life. To spend time with my amazing friends that loved me and I loved them, but that hasn't happened at all..... Quite the opposite has happened actually. I've lost some of the best friends I had, the ones I could actually count on, over something I think is not worth it at all, and something I wasn't even involved in. I've spent the summer with pretty much no one I could actually TALK to about how I've felt except Skyler. I just wish it would all just stop and go away. Sorry, just needed to get my feelings out

"Don't ever wish to be anything but what you are"

This quote is from Thumbelina, I found it written on an envelope in one of my drawers... It really got me thinking..

I think of all the different 'I wish I was'..
'I wish I was prettier, smarter, skinnier, taller/shorter, wealthier.'
Are any of those really important? Money is to an extent I guess.... But not really. So why do we obsess over it? Why do we seem to think we need to be anything but what we are? Yes, sometimes people do need to change what they do, but what you do isn't always what you are.. Why do we feel we need to change ourselves? Who we are? Sometimes just so we can fit in..

Another question.
Why do we sometimes feel like our possessions define who we are?
I guess because sometimes they do. But they shouldn't, should they?
To be honest, I don't think so.
I think our relationships, aspirations, passions, desires, and hopes should be what defines us. Because without them, what are we? Who are we?

I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been asking that question a lot, ha.
I guess because that's what I've been asking myself, and now I'm asking you. Who are you? Simple question, should be a simple answer right? Not always. But see if you can answer it. Feel free to tell me if you figure it out. Or not, if you're not comfortable, haha.
I'll be thinking about it myself, and posting it sometime soon (hopefully)

But I guess what I really wanted to say was this quote
"Don't ever wish to be anything but what you are"
Be happy with what you are, what you have. Don't be upset if you aren't 'perfect', nobody's perfect..
Maybe you aren't where you wanted to be at this point and time in your life. If you can, see if you still have a chance of achieving what you wanted. If not, I'm sorry, but you need to accept it. Try your hardest to be happy with where you are, make the best of what you have, you won't necessarily have a second chance.

I ask that no one be offended about anything I said. If I do happen to hurt your feelings, I'm so very sorry, that wasn't what the point of this post was. I just got to thinking about it, and wanted to share my thoughts.

That Fateful Day Three Years Ago

I wrote about her birth, so I figured I'd write about her death.

Three years ago, I think it was about six in the morning, the phone rang.. It's never good when the phone rings that early, so I knew something bad had happened. It was confirmed what that bad thing was when Mom came in the living room crying.

She had left us. Left us to go live with Heavenly Father.

Mom, Dad, Bethany and I all packed up some stuff and headed out. Jen needed us. Or maybe we needed Jen? Honestly not sure..
Not much happened the week between her death and her funeral. Just being together, and trying to help them get through that tough time.

All the family came up for the funeral. Well, not all. But a fair amount did.
I cried a lot... We all did.. I think Nick actually shed one tear, haha.
It was a sad day, but we somehow managed to have fun. All twelve children were there. Even Andrew, watching over us.
Daniel did a beautiful cover of a song for Maggie, I wish I could somehow let you guys hear it.

I love you Maggie Mae Morrison. You were and are a blessing in this family. You made me stronger, and appreciate the little things in life. I don't go a day without thinking of you, and the example your short life was to me. I can't fully explain how much you and your family mean to me, but know that you're always in my heart, and always will be.

Jen, you're my hero. You stayed and continue to stay strong. I wish I had that strength. I hope you realize my love for you. I wish I could be with you right now, and every other day. But I can't, so just know my heart and thoughts are with you. Today, and every day.

Sorry this post isn't very good. I've got stuff going on and I can't really sit here and pour it all out. I'll try to post soon

I'm Back! Miss Me Much? ;)

I'm back! Back from camp! and back from Philmont!! It was to say the least, an awesome summer! Lots of memories made that I shall treasure for all eternity!
So, for those of you who don't really know what Philmont is.
Philmont is a Scout ranch out in New Mexcico. They have many different types of treks you can go on, horse riding, trail crews, and on and on! But what I did, was the usual backpacking trek. We did itinerary 18. It was 67 miles in 10 days, with a 30-35 lb pack on my back. It was definitely exhausting, and sometimes I just wanted to go home. But about half way through I hit the point where I was like, 'I'm finishing this, nothing's going to stop me!' so when I hurt my knee, and the lady asked if I wanted her to call it in, or just rest a little and continue on, I of course chose the second. It also didn't hurt that I was like 30 minutes from my brothers :) Yes, I got to see them!! Definitely one of the highlights! I miss them so much :( I cried the first time I saw Nick, hahahaha. What can I say? They're my best friends! Anyways, I hope everyone followed my advice, and seized the day! I know I did!
Never take the little things for granted. They can grow to be big things if you let them.

"Shape the future by dealing with the present"

AAAAAH!!!!

Young Women's camp is less than a week away!! Then on to boy scout camp!! CRAZINESS! I'm also not prepared. Freaking out a tiny little bit. But that's okay, I'll survive.

The boys are packing right now for Philmont, where they will be for 3 MONTHS..... Can I just say.. LAME! I mean, Philmont isn't lame, but the fact that they're leaving me for 3 months is lame.. Oh well.
"I will survive!"

This is going to be my last post until August, when I get back from all my adventures :)
I encourage all of you to Carpe Diem!! Remember, life is short, make the best of it! So have an amazing(and maybe a little adventurous eh? ;) summer!

LATERS!!!